Very often in my work I help women in this situation, immerse in abusive relationships, being forced to have sex with their partners that abuse them physical and psychologically.
Very often this women cannot say no. Cannot believe, cannot trust that something else is possible. They feel pushed to have sex and to please their man out of fear.
Often this women get psychologically abused every single day, the partners undermine their self confidence and self image to make them more dependent to them. A vicious circle difficult to stop.
Often cannot even accept that what is happening to them is abuse, they want to make it work, they want to stay to protect their children, they want to believe that the man can change. And definitely I do believe this is possible, I fully believe that everyone has the possibility to change and develop.
But sometimes it is not. I remember one lady that one morning she decided to leave the house of her man. She then lived a two years nightmare to be able to get the divorce because the laws of her country would not allow so. Two years of therapy where we helped her to integrate her past and recover her own voice. At then end, exhausted of not getting the divorce, she even offered to pay her man 10.000 euros simply to let her free. To agree in their embassy that she could divorce.
10.000 euros to be free from an abusive relationship. Is this not slavery?
Fortunately, I have also often witnessed the change and blossoming of some of these women. Some of them, after months and years of doubt, they speak out and fight strong within themselves and their own families to make clear that it has to end. That ending is the only way out.
Today, International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women I hope that many women can gather the means to end their abusive relationships.
I hope they can slowly believe that it is possible. I hope that the families of these women can support them in their decision to stop (which many times is not the case and push them to stay and be loyal to the marriage).
I hope that one day no woman will be raped outside or inside their marriage.
I hope that no woman, drunk, unconscious or silent, will be raped.
I hope that I hope the new government in Spain can revise de penal code as soon as possible and start considering rape as rape.
I hope that more and more men around the world get conscious and join the feminist cause.